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Using Assertiveness to Build Better Relationships with Oneself and Others

6/5/2016

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by Nicole Slaughter-Graham
I used to think assertiveness was a negative trait. I struggled with voicing my opinion in a manner that was both true to me and respectful to others, because I wanted to be liked. What I didn’t realize was my inability to assert my truth negatively affected my relationships and my personal serenity. The Virtues Project definition of Assertiveness really made clear the importance of this specific trait:
​​Assertiveness is speaking one’s truth with peaceful confidence. It is discerning the song we were given to sing and using our talents as a gift to the world. We have the courage to speak up for what we believe is right. We tell the truth about what is just. Assertiveness comes from knowing our own worth, and honoring the dignity of who we are. We stand on our own holy ground and set boundaries without guilt. We never beg or make demands. We ask for what we need by making simple, positive requests. We treat ourselves with respect and expect respect at all times.

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