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Seeing the Virtues in Teens

4/19/2015

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When I tell people I work with teenagers they typically respond with “ugh, that must be difficult.” This is a completely appropriate reply because teens really can be difficult to work with.  They are going through a very important time in their life of changing physically, mentally, and emotionally. They see their body change, experience new and intense feelings, and are trying to figure out their place in the world. In order to go through this process their behaviors can be erratic and inconsistent, which makes it easy to identify their negative actions. We must not forget though how important it is to notice and acknowledge teens practicing virtues.

In my last year working with teens I have noticed the unpredictability of their moods and behaviors but more importantly I have noticed the times they practiced virtuous actions. It is my job as an adult in their life to encourage these behaviors. In one of my 6th grade classes the topic of homosexuality came up between two young ladies. After sharing their differing views, one of the young ladies said, “I believe what I believe, but it is ok that you believe something different.” How beautiful it is to see a 12 year-old practice tolerance!

While most teens are indifferent toward me, others show friendliness by smiling or waving hello and goodbye. I respond to these behaviors with smiling and friendliness back to them. Some teens do not show friendliness due to shyness or lack of social skills: instead they offer to help me carry things to my car. They are practicing helpfulness. I support their behavior and show appreciation to encourage more of the same.

Learning about virtues, such as creativity, will help you to be more in tune to identifying them in others. In one class, I had a group make nametags for themselves—a simple project involving markers and an index card. One teen haphazardly scrawled his name on the index card and then took a pipe cleaner and shoved it through the nametag with messy intention. Although not quite a work of art in the end, it was his way of expressing himself creatively.

Practicing the virtues in our everyday lives helps us make connections with others. We become more in tune with the positive aspects of our self, which makes it easier to recognize the same in those around us. When we learn to speak the language of the virtues, we call forth the best in others and ourselves. Teens especially need the benefit of adults who can see and acknowledge the virtues in them. Your own understanding and perceptiveness will help you find the gifts in others.

J.C. Smith facilitates a teen pregnancy prevention and life skills program for at risk-teens in  St. Petersburg, FL. She attended University of South Florida and obtained her B.A. in Interdisciplinary Social Sciences.
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